Every day...
November 8th, 2013 (06:32 pm)
Every day I get up for work.
Every day I leave the house just after 6am.
Every day I put in a long, hard day.
Every day I drive home.
Every day I feel like I'm just an observer of my own life.
Every day I get up for work.
Every day I leave the house just after 6am.
Every day I put in a long, hard day.
Every day I drive home.
Every day I feel like I'm just an observer of my own life.
But for some reason the "Yelp Bling" doesn't work.
Sigh.
I don't even remember how to dream, how to have a goal, how to have hope.
I started looking into going to college. Online. Community. Whatever.
The more I looked, the more I realized how stuck I am.
Sure, there's financial aid - but who pays the mortgage, the power, puts gas in the car, puts food on the table.
So, I'm stuck.
I'll continue to be a drone, working in a job where we are treated like machines.
Bathroom breaks are timed and questioned.
We have company provided sick time, but we are penalized if we use it.
We have company provided vacation time - but there's no "time available" to take off.
Shit, I can't even go to my 25th class reunion in JUNE. I knew about the date over a month ago, but there is no time to take to even get a long weekend.
FML.
Yay! I'm actually getting 5 hours of OT this week.
Yes, this is good news. As usual, I'm BROKE. There has been so little overtime offered this year, I take any little bit offered.
Thing is, not everyone gets offered OT. Your numbers have to be good. You have to be willing & able to do it. Your attendance has to be good.
I usually meet those criteria, and I'm quite capable of doing my job without supervisor handholding.
Some people cannot.
Often, those that cannot, whinge about "never getting chosen" or how they "must not be the special ones".
I get so tired of dealing with that whiny assed bullshit. Generally, we make our own opportunities. If I went to work with a shitty, blame everyone attitude (and didn't bust my ass) I wouldn't get the chances I get.
Simple as that.
Attitude does make a difference.
Goodnight!
1. What did you do in 2012 that you'd never done before?
Join a gym - and like it. Actually I was going 4-6 times per week - but I seem to have some lingering health crap making me too tired to do anything. Now I'm down to 3 times per week.
2. Did you keep your new year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I don't do "new year's resolutions".
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
No.
(eww)
4. Did anyone close to you die?
In 2012, no. I (reportedly) came close to it in late January. FIL was quite sick a couple of weeks ago (4 days in the hospital) but no deaths this year.
5. What countries did you visit?
Only the U.S. this year.
6. What would you like to have in 2013 that you lacked in 2012?
Less screaming in my head. Also, more money.
7. What dates from 2012 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
I'm so rotten with dates I have a hard time remembering what happened this year as opposed to some other year let alone specific dates.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Getting to the gym, bringing my diet under control, and losing 30-plus pounds. ++ keeping this answer.
9. What was your biggest failure?
I can't keep my finances straight.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Yes. I had my gallbladder out in January (that was easy). Then a couple of weeks later, I developed an insane infectious lump. Had to have it cut out. Twice. Spent 7 days in the hospital and 4 weeks with a wound-vac to heal it. It was the size of a baseball. The incision to get it out was 14cm long, 4cm wide and over 4cm deep.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
Probably my gym membership.
12. Whose behaviour merited celebration?
My hubby, 
wahmuk and my other hubby (if it were legal) mech11h
Both were exemplary in taking care of me. :)
13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?
The company I work for. They "eliminated positions" throughout the company - mostly of folks who had been there for 40 years +, but too young to retire. One was my sups boss - who many didn't get along with (sometimes including me) but who was awesome at her job.
14. Where did most of your money go?
Bills, groceries, gas.
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
I don't remember.
16. What song will always remind you of 2012?
"Call me Maybe" - because it was on constant fucking rotation at the gym.
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? Probably sadder. Depression is kicking my ass more and more.
b) thinner or fatter? Thinner - but still working on it.
c) richer or poorer? Poorer. Inflation.
18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Worked overtime - last year I had over 500 hours of OT - this year only about 35 hours (total).
19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Err... being sick? Staying in hospitals sucks.
20. How will you be spending Christmas?
I'll be working. I volunteer since I don't celebrate (so that someone who does celebrate can stay home). We staff a very small crew.
22. Did you fall in love in 2012?
I'm constantly falling deeper in love with my sweeties.
23. How many one-night stands?
None. Not much playing this year.
24. What was your favourite TV program?
Right now? Probably The Big Bang Theory. Or Castle.
25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
It takes too much energy to hate.
26. What was the best book you read?
I didn't read much - perhaps "God, No!" by Penn Jillette
27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
I've not been listening to much music. The noise in my head has been so loud - music doesn't quiet it.
28. What did you want and get?
A haircut.
29. What did you want and not get?
A Powerball/Megaball/Huge fucking lottery win.
30. What was your favorite film of this year?
Hmmm... Looking forward to Le Mis.
I enjoyed part 2 of Atlas Shrugged.
My recent favorite is Expendables 2. (don't judge me).
31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 42. I don't remember what I did now. Maybe someone will remind me.
32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Earning enough money to keep up with my bills.
33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2012?
Err... Dig through my closet for smaller clothes.
34. What kept you sane?
My hubby, wahmuk and my other hubby (if it were legal) mech11h and my kitties.
And my meds.
35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
My brain isn't working well this evening. I had to ask my hubby. He says, "Nathan Fillion". I can't really deny that. He absolutely cracks me up.
Oh, and Michael Symon (chef).
36. What political issue stirred you the most?
Most of them, but I'm a Libertarian. I would really love to see Gary Johnson as president.
Libertarian = Fiscally conservative, socially accepting.
37. Who did you miss?
My hubby when I wasn't near him. My "other" hubby when I wasn't near him.
I'm always missing someone when I can't see them both at the same time.
38. Who was the best new person you met?
Met, in person?
Tough. Probably my Zumba, Yoga instructor at the gym. She's really fun and inspiring.
39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2012:
All of life is a valuable lesson.
Appreciate everything.
40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
HEAR ME
And if I close my mind in fear
Please pry it open
SEE ME
And if my face becomes sincere
Beware
HOLD ME
And when I start to come undone
Stitch me together
SEE ME
And when you see me strut
Remind me of what left this outlaw torn
One of my favorite Metallica songs - Outlaw Torn.
It's been more than a year since I've posted (and almost as long since I've even logged in).
Yeah, I suck.
I even let my paid subscription lapse.
Lots has happened since then.
Maybe I'll log off Twitter & FB long enough to type more than 140 characters about it.
:)
The blog Tatertots and Jello is giving away a Silhouette Cameo.
The crafty bitch in me NEEEEEDS one.
Sigh.
Go here and check it out. Fun stuff!
http://tatertotsandjello.com/2011/10/thanksgiving-project-with-the-new-silhouette-cameo-and-giveaway.html
Yes, I like crafts.
Yes, I will eventually have my crafty/project room.
Someday...
LOL
The hubby pointed this one out to me - I think he just wanted to see the veins pop out of my neck.
Pro-Life Group Sues To Stop University Hospital From Teaching "Abortion" (Actually, D & C)
Linky: This text is linky because the link is long
( Behind a cut for the link-averseCollapse )
Unfortunately, there are jackasses that agree with what they are trying to do.
The stoopid... it buuuurrnnnss....
That's right - I am attempting a hobby.
A crafty hobby at that!
One of my great real life friends does a lot of jewelry making with beads. I LOVE looking at the pretties - even the beads alone are pretty.
So I started accumulating some beads. Not big cool statement beads - but small, dainty glass beads. You wouldn't believe the low prices of seed and other small beads on eBay.
Anyway...
Here are my first few attempts at some jewelry.
( Several pics behind a cutCollapse )
Yeah, yeah. I know. It's been {insert long-ass time} since I've posted anything.
sigh.
Since I don't feel like delving into the past {insert long-ass time} that I've been AWOL, How about the past week?
I've been sick.
Work-missing sick.
Not normal sick.
Nothing that looks like being sick.
No yarf.
No snot.
No coughing.
Just a headache. And a fever.
Oh, not any headache. It started off as "just a headache, gimme some Motrin".
Nothing helped.
Not sleeping, eating, starving, Motrin, Tylenol, cold compresses, warm kitties - *nothing*.
And it got worse.
It felt like there were creatures with steel-toed boots inside my head beating their way out while really strong invisible people with sledgehammers were trying to beat their way in.
My pain level was at a 9. Literally.
And, I had a wild-assed fluctuating fever.
It jumped around from 99.9 to 103.7 and everything in between.
The headache started as a mild headache on Saturday. It began finding its legs on Sunday. It was a full blown debilitating nightmare on Monday.
I called out of work.
Hubby tried taking me to my doctor (he wasn't there - they recommended the other office, which was full until after 4pm).
He then just took me to the ER.
I was in so much pain, the trip was kind of a blur for me.
They poked and prodded, took blood, checked readings, gave me a CT scan and scratched their heads a lot.
My blood pressure was fine. My blood work all came out ok. No nausea. No congestion. No nasal symptoms. Nothing irregular on the CT.
No outward reason for the headache or fever.
I got a shot in the ass (some mild pain reliever) and a couple of Tylenol.
My fever broke enough they were convinced I wasn't going to spontaneously combust or send gray matter splattering all over the walls.
They called it a virus and said to follow up with my doctor.
I slept and showered a lot all day Tuesday. Still had the headache and fevers.
Wednesday Jamie took me to see my doctor.
He reviewed all of the info from the ER, poked, prodded, and tested some more - but couldn't find any reason for the headache and fevers except for a virus (that seemed to be moving along by this time).
Doc realized I was still in pain and could use some relief - so he gave me a shot of Demerol.
I still had the headache, I just didn't care! Unfortunately, that feeling only lasted for a couple of hours.
I started feeling better yesterday (Thursday). Actually, yesterday was the first day since all of this started that I had even gotten on my computer. Yeah, I felt like that much shit.
I went to work today, and put in 10 hours. I actually started feeling better as the day went along - I still have a bit of a headache but DAMN I feel better!!
Hopefully I can get some shit done around the house this weekend and just generally enjoy my head not exploding. :)
I've been puttering on eBay. Here's my page. http://myworld.ebay.com/purple_debra
Check my listings. Share the love. Think non-exploding thoughts for my brain. ;)
naamah_darling is one of the most talented people on the internet - and maybe one of the most talented people in the US.
Here is the link to her LJ post about her latest endeavor
She has an ebook out! On her LJ post, you can get a discount code!
At least go check it out. You can also read a sample before you buy it.
Go! Check it out now!
:-)
I haven't posted in a while - and here I am ranting about idiots.
news.yahoo.com/s/yblog_thelookout/201102
Fuck these misogynistic ant-penised wart-covered scrotums that call themselves "men" and "lawmakers". Fuck them all with flaming splintered baseball bats.
I wonder if these douchnozzles know what a miscarriage is called... it's a spontaneous abortion! ABORTION! "God" performs abortions - they're called miscarriages. Thousands per year.... Maybe millions! Should I be investigated every time I pass a blood clot????
Thanks for posting this wldrose!!!!
Bobby Flay eggnog:
mix eggs, cream, sugar, and rum, then throw it on the grill and garnish with mango chutney.
Sandra Lee eggnog:
Pour one tablespoon of store-bought eggnog into an 8-oz glass. Swish it around to coat the glass, pour out excess. Fill the remainder of the glass with vodka and serve.
Alton Brown eggnog:
Build a ridiculously complicated frothing machine out of dry ice, twenty feet of rubber tubing, a colander, and a garden hose nozzle, then follow a twenty-step process and deliver a five minute rant about why an egg separator is a useless "unitasker."
Rachel Ray eggnog:
The addition of a little EVOO to a traditional eggnog recipe is YUM-O!!!
Gordon Ramsay eggnog:
IS THAT HOW YOU BEAT A F*****G EGG? I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU, YOU F*****G DONKEY? GET OUT!!! GET THE F**K OUT OF MY KITCHEN YOU F*****G C**T!!!!
Paula Dean eggnog:
Combine eggs, butter, whole cream, butter, sugar, butter, rum, butter, and more butter. Whip. Serve with a side of defibrillator.
From @TextEngineering "Fox moves 'Fringe' to the Friday night time slot of doom in January. And the first episode is titled 'Firefly'? This can't end well."
1. What bill do you hate paying the most?
The Mortgage. I LOVE what it has gotten us - but it is the biggest bill and the amount brings me stress.
2. Do you miss being a child?
No. Being a child meant I had to be around children - not my cuppa.
3. Chore you hate the most?
Do I have to *like* any of them? I'm not Suzi Homemaker.
4. Where was the last place you had a romantic dinner?
Subway in Toccoa. "Romance" is what you make it. :)
5. If you could go back and change one thing what would it be?
It's never "one" thing - everything leads to something else - but if I had the ability, I would warn my Sweetie off of trying to help one particular person. It backfired and caused him untold amounts of pain.
6. Name of your first grade teacher?
I don't remember her name - but I can vaguely remember her face. Not her fault though - much of my memory of childhood is spotty at best.
7. What do you really want to be doing right now?
I would love to be snuggled up under the covers napping with my Sweeties.
8. What did you want to be when you grew up?
A stuntperson. A teacher. Actually neither of those would have suited me *at all*.
9. How many colleges did you attend?
Does technical college count?
10. Why did you choose the shirt that you have on right now?
It's one of my default "wear around the house" Ts. And I'm "around the house".
11. What are your thoughts on gas prices?
They worry me. My round trip to work is 64 miles. I have a small car that gets good mileage - but the cost is going up faster than I can keep up.
12. First thought when the alarm went off this morning?
"Damn - I was hoping it was the weekend."
13. Last thought before going to sleep last night?
"I love my Sweetie." (He plugged my phone into the charger and helped me with my CPAP since I had already managed to doze off)
14. What famous person would you like to have dinner with?
Oh that's a tough question... I don't think I could choose just one - and I would want my best friends to join us too (much more fun conversation).
15. Have you ever crashed your vehicle?
I've hit deer. And a dog. :( And once I scraped the side of my car down a concrete pole.
16. If you didn't have to work, would you volunteer?
To work at my current job? Not a chance. I might volunteer my time elsewhere. <<< Keeping this answer!
17. Get up early or sleep in?
Sleep in - especially now that the weather has cooled off.
18. What is your favorite cartoon character?
I love any of the old Looney Toons/Merrie Melodies cartoons.
19. Favorite thing to do at night?
Besides sleep... I would have to say have sex. Wonderful, lustful, loud sex.
Also - go out and look at the stars. We live way out of a city and the night sky is spectacular.
20. When did you first start feeling old?
At 25. Some folks say "30 is a bad birthday, 40 is a bad birthday" for me it was 25.
21. Favorite lunch meat?
Genoa Salami. Sliced super thin. It just melts in my mouth. {drool}
22. What do you get every time you go into Wal-Mart?
A shopping cart. I like to go into Wally World when it isn't so busy (later at night) and look around at everything. We actually have a really nice Wal-Mart close to home.
23. Do you think marriage is an outdated ritual?
Marriage is what you make it! I *love* my marriage, and I think that *any people* who want to get married should be able to.
24. Favorite movie you wouldn't want anyone to find out about?
I don't care who knows about my weird likes and dislikes.
25. What's your favorite drink?
Non-alcoholic - Diet Lemonade from Chik-fil-a.
Alcoholic - "The Fruity" (it's a drink I concocted)
26. Who from high school would you like to run in to?
I wouldn't mind running into any of them - although there are some folks I stayed closer to and we *still* don't manage to see each other!
27. What radio station is your car radio tuned to right now?
93.3 The Planet http://www.newrock933.com/
28. Sopranos or Desperate Housewives?
I've never seen either show.
29. Worst relationship mistake that you wish you could take back?
I suppose the jealousy and insecurity of my late teens.
30. Do you like the person that sits directly across from you at work?
No comment. :)
31. Have you ever had to use a fire extinguisher for its intended purposes?
Not yet!
32. Last book you finished reading?
A plastic canvas project book from the 70s. There was even a project for a typewriter cover!
33. Do you have a teddy bear?
I do. He sits on top of a dresser in the bedroom.
34. Strangest place you have ever brushed your teeth?
What an odd question...
35. Do you go to church?
Nope.
36. How old are you?
40 and proud of it!
Originally posted by neo_prodigy at Spirit Day
Hello! {crickets}
I know I haven't been here much - but I have a new (emerging) hobby - eBay!
I have a few things up for auction.
http://myworld.ebay.com/purple_debra
Buy something?
Or link me to your page. :)
deb
I'm relaying a post from naamah_darling to try to find a very pretty kitty a new home.
http://naamah-darling.livejournal.com/462911.html
She reminds me so much of my Nike. :(
If I didn't already have 2 rambunctious monsters, I would volunteer to take her.
Please - check out the post. :)
I haven't posted much lately, but I did recently comment on an entry in 
poor_skills about laundry.
Here is my comment, in its entirety.
We have well water (from a 600+ foot well) and that means our cold water is *really* cold. So cold that powdered detergents and the like won't dissolve in it. Yeah. Cold. LOL
That said, I usually use the cool/cold setting on my washer for most things. I use the warm/cold for my towels/whites.
I only use non-scented detergents, so they can be a bit pricey (but yay for coupons and sales!) but I use *way* less than the bottle says to, so it really goes a long way (Unless I have a super dirty load).
I also use a scoop of "Sun Oxygen cleaner" in my wash. It's like a really cheap version of Oxy Clean. It's usually less than $2 per tub - and it even gets the Georgia red clay out of clothes.
YMMV, of course. These are just what I do. :)
My steps for laundry...
1. Gather a load. I generally only separate the loads into "bleach loads" or "non-bleach loads". I only wash a full load (but not "packed-in" full - the clothes need room to agitate).
2. Start the washer. Of course, the washer has to fill with water first. While it is filling, I first add my little scoop of Oxy stuff, then detergent. As the water is filling, I add the clothes.
3. Let the washer do its thing. If I have something that really needs to have some deep-seated smell removed (I have pets. You don't want to know) I add about 3/4 cup of white vinegar to the rinse water.
4. Dry. I use an electric clothes dryer - on med-high heat and on the perm press setting. I also use a store brand (Publix) no scent, no dye dryer sheet.
Everything gets good and clean, and smells clean (not perfumed).
I do keep some cheap spray "stain lifter" type things around for when I forget to wash something right when I spill something. I'm clumsy. It happens a lot.
:)
Maybe in a few days I'll post about the free couch and loveseat we got!
LOL
Such an exciting life lately!
;)
I was up kind of late last night having some fun with Google. Sometimes I like to Google the names of folks I used to know... especially folks with more unusual names (they're easier to find online!).
I also like to Google various family/ex-family members. I found out last night that Pendejo's brother and nephew were arrested back in 1990 for a string of burglaries in the WPB area.
Good times.
I also have Googled my father. For the past several years I had presumed my father was dead.
I think I found some updated information.
I had always known I had 2 half-brothers. I was sure of one of their first names.
If the information I found last night was correct, my father just died on July 6 of this year.
It quite upset me and I'm not entirely sure why. I mean, I had already presumed he was dead. For years.
Is it the finality of it all? Is it because I never got to know him?
blerg.
*** ETA - I was right. I just got confirmation from my half-brother. They were looking for me earlier this month to try to let me know.
:(
Check out the new Household Cleaner section on Craftbits.com.
Craftbits.com is a fun site with TONS of crafty ideas.
Go ahead and get a login - I've been a member there for several months and no spam yet.
:)
I originally posted this to a couple of diabetes communities - but I figure some folks on my flist might have some experience with it too...
Ahh wonderful diabetes communities!
I have a question.
I am a type 2. I was taking Metformin ER, Glucovance, and Actos.
My doc and I recently took me off of the Actos and adjusted some of my other meds. It seems that the Actos was making me swell up like crazy - and put on lots of weight.
I had an appointment almost a month ago - and I'm going back on Thursday. We are discussing my possibly trying out Byetta.
Anyone have any experience with it?
Good, bad, indifferent?
We were waiting a month to see how my new med regime would progress. Not too well, I'm afraid. My numbers are staying from 160-280. :(
I would just like to hear some opinions from folks in these communities. You guys always have good feedback!
Thanks a bunch!
(x-posted to diabetes and type_2_diabetes )
